Skip to content

North Pole IT spec sheet

Santa to his elf pointing at a computer: "Not only does this system make my list and check it twice, but it performs over 100 redundancy checks per minute, automatically sends out revision control notifications, updates production lists, manages and track training requirements, and makes a mean cup of cocoa."Rumors have long swirled regarding a possible massive upgrade of the IT infrastructure at Kris Kringle’s sprawling North Pole plant.  The stories appear to be true.  Kringle’s spec sheet was recently obtained by an underground group of yuletide hackers.  Multinational companies have reportedly begun assembling proposals and budgets.

  • Servers and routers to maintain the proprietary 500PB “Naughty and Nice” databases (which must be searchable) – elf workstations and external clients (children and their parents) provide the data
  • Data networking (and high-speed internet) to connect together the ten North Pole toy shops (up to 100 elf workstations per shop) for manufacturing management
  • Communication framework (phone, video, and data) for North Pole’s headquarters (50 elf work stations, 1 CEO workstation, 9 reindeer stalls)
  • Encryption and firewalls to thwart external security threats (e.g. the Grinch, the Abominable Snow Monster)
  • Business analytics to uncover wish-list patterns and trends inside the “Naughty and Nice” databases
  • Sensors on the toy shop floor to monitor and manage assembly supplies
  • Sensors in the reindeer barn to monitor and manage food, temperature, and flight training
  • Wireless communication to connect Kringle in the field with his elf support staff back at North Pole headquarters
  • Integration of a new “You Better Watch Out” app that allows parents to provide the North Pole headquarters (and the proprietary “Naughty and Nice” databases) with real-time worldwide updates on children behavior
  • Installation of widespread GPS system to connect sleigh to North Pole headquarters for time management needs, navigation assistance, and inventory control (both for 24-hour December 24 delivery date and December mall appearances)
  • Networked support for a set of new 3D printer tools for parts manufacture

 

 

Scroll To Top